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Life has changed, but mission has stayed

I am sorry folks for not being more consistent with my blog postings. Life has been very strange for me the last few months.

First and foremost, I have remained consistent with my weight loss program. I have continued to work on tracking my food and increasing my activity. As of the writing of this post, I have lost 59.2 lbs! I am so excited about that. This has been a time of refreshing for me that I have needed.

Continue reading → Life has changed, but mission has stayed

It takes a lot to take me down

Over the last few months, I have been frustrated with my body. I have been frustrated with myself for putting myself in this situation. I have been battling demons. Demons that tell me to give up. Demons that tell me that I am not supposed to be fighting this journey.

In January, I was walking down a flight of stairs after making a food delivery. As I walked down the stairs, I missed a few steps. When my foot went down to the ground, my knee buckled and I fell. In that one instance, I broke my tibia plateau on my right knee. I was devasted because I had to be in bed with a brace from my right buttocks to my ankle. I could not sit in a chair. I could not maneuver around my small one bedroom apartment.

Continue reading → It takes a lot to take me down

Struggling with reality

Looking in the mirror can be one of the hardest things a person can do when they are overweight. The mirror holds nothing back. It shows every curve and blemish. What’s worse is the fact that it is staring back at us and sometimes, that is to much to handle.

What are your weight loss struggles today?

Three months into my new journey and I am still struggling. But my struggle is different now. I look at my face in the mirrior and I struggle to see the changes. I struggle to see if this journey is really working for me. (Almost 35 lbs down, I know it is working.) But, when you see your face every single day, you do not always see the changes right away. When I see my face in the mirror, I still see that woman who was scared to death. I still see the woman who does not want to face life and face reality.

Continue reading → Struggling with reality

What are we doing?

I am going to put out a disclosure at the beginning of this blog post. My disclosure is simply, I love my WW community. Throughout this journey, I have found friends through the WW community on Connect. But, I have seen a post repeatedly that I think needs to be addressed. Not because it is a WW issue, but because everyone who goes on this journey needs to understand it.

Don’t become a prisoner to the scale.¬†

When we begin our weight loss journey no matter how many times we have done it before, we all focus on one thing. I have x amount of pounds to lose. I want to lose my weight. And then when something happens and we don’t lose in a particular week, we get upset. This mindset leads to failure. I am telling you from experience. If you¬†become obsessed with the scale, YOU WILL FAIL. Continue reading → What are we doing?

Not Just Another Day…

Today as I sit here, I am filled with thoughts of my sweet angel. My little precious baby I love more than life itself. I had planned this day out, but the Lord saw fit to change my plans. I wanted to be busy so I wouldn’t have time to think about my baby. But, God made today a moment to stop and reflect.

Our hope comes from the creator, our sustainer.

Three years ago today, after 18 years of trying to concieve, my husband and I lost our one and only child to miscarriage. Our sweet baby we had longed so much for was gone. We were devastated and heart-broken. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t see a child that I don’t think about my sweet Taylor.

Since that fateful day, every April 17th has been a heartache. My husband and I have always tried to spend the day together and reflect on our beautiful baby. Dreaming of the things we could have done with Taylor. We made Taylor a birthday cake and celebrated the life that we wanted so much.

But, this year was so much different. For one, I am changing my lifestyle and trying to eat right and heal my body from everything it has gone through. So, cake is kind of out of the question. The other issue was this was the first year I am by myself on our child’s heavenly birthday. I thought today would be hard and the thought of spending it by myself was devastating. So, I made plans with a lady from church. But, as my knee is healing and I did to much yesterday, I needed to stay home.

I have been afraid all week that I would gorge on food. As of this writing, I have not done that. I was afraid that I would feed my emotions with food. Make five trips to the McDonald’s and three to the Dairy Queen, just to escape the pain that I have been not wanting to face.

But, God had other plans. I have spent the day taking care of me. I have eaten healthy, scheduled a hair appointment for next week, and taken the time to reflect. I have colored in my new prayer journal and spent some time thinking about what and awesome blessing it is to be a mother – even if my child is no longer here. God gave me the biggest blessing when he made me a mother. And I can never change the outcome, but I can always praise my creator and sustainer for seeing me through.

Today is a success. Today was not as I planned or wanted, but I have survived. I have not cried once. But, I have not filled my face with emotional eating either. It is a win!

Happiness is more than a number

In the past 3 1/2 weeks, my world has changed. It has changed for the good. As I look back I wonder what has changed so drastically that I actually see good in things I used to see bad in. But, I realize, my outlook has changed because I am putting myself first.

Since joining WW, I have lost 11.6 lbs, I am feeling healthier and I am feeling more like myself. But, more than that, I am realizing that I am worth taking the time to be me. I have broken out of the feeling that I need to be something for someone else. I don’t have to be anything to anyone but me. Continue reading → Happiness is more than a number

Lifestyle changes make all of the difference

My husband and I went out and had a glorious day today. Since my husband has accepted a new job, his schedule is a little iffy. So, we wanted to celebrate his birthday a little early.

If you know my husband at all, you will know he is a proud Buffalo native. He loves Buffalo, NY, almost as much as he loves me. So when a Anchor Bar opened in Fredrick, Maryland, I knew I had to spoil the man and take him up there. So, this morning, we packed up and traveled over two hours for him to enjoy a taste of home.

Continue reading → Lifestyle changes make all of the difference

Blue Apron … an unexpected God send

I love to cook. I love spending time in the kitchen preparing meals for my husband. I love spending the time together. But, when I went to my first WW meeting, I was surprised to see that they had paired with Blue Apron and was offering our first two boxes at a reduced rate. I figured, why not? If it is going to make meal prep easier and it is going to be WW Freestyle Friendly, what did I have to lose.

Continue reading → Blue Apron … an unexpected God send

One small leap!

Today was such a huge day. Last week I walked into my WW meeting scared and intimidated. This week I walked in empowered. I walked in excited about what I would hear about my first weigh-in. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a 7 lb weight loss.

First week a success!

I know I tried so hard last week and I am thankful I saw the results. But, more than the weight loss I feel so much better.

This weight loss is great. But I know that this will not be the way the scale will go every week. But this first week has given me so much hope and encouragement, I know I can accomplish anything!