With the world on lockdown for us in the United States eating healthy has become almost insane. As we sit by the internet, television, or radio we are inundated with bad news. So, what are we to do?
My first suggestion is to obey are leaders who are calling us to stay home. As an immuno-compromised person, let me tell you, the importance of everyone staying home could be lifesaving to me and my best friend. If you don’t, if we catch the virus we can easily die. So please, stay home.
But, how do we lose weight if we are cooped up in the house. Let me be the first to tell you, I am struggling with this myself. In the past two weeks I have gained .6 lbs. I know that is not much, but to me it is. It is a realization that I KNOW I have not done what I should. I have gained it because while trying to preoccupy my time, I forget to eat. Then I gorge on food I know I shouldn’t be eating just to get my points in. Having the hubby run to Taco Bell because the only thing I have eaten all day is a banana and it is 4 p.m. I get it.
Those pesky New Years Resolutions are here again. We make promises we know we will never keep. Or we make them and don’t have the tools we need to make them succeed. Are you in that boat this year? One of the most common resolutions is to lose weight. The Health and Fitness industry makes millions on us every year. And more importantly, they want us to fail so we spend on our money with them next year.
I am sorry folks for not being more consistent with my blog postings. Life has been very strange for me the last few months.
First and foremost, I have remained consistent with my weight loss program. I have continued to work on tracking my food and increasing my activity. As of the writing of this post, I have lost 59.2 lbs! I am so excited about that. This has been a time of refreshing for me that I have needed.
Over the last few months, I have been frustrated with my body. I have been frustrated with myself for putting myself in this situation. I have been battling demons. Demons that tell me to give up. Demons that tell me that I am not supposed to be fighting this journey.
In January, I was walking down a flight of stairs after making a food delivery. As I walked down the stairs, I missed a few steps. When my foot went down to the ground, my knee buckled and I fell. In that one instance, I broke my tibia plateau on my right knee. I was devasted because I had to be in bed with a brace from my right buttocks to my ankle. I could not sit in a chair. I could not maneuver around my small one bedroom apartment.
Looking in the mirror can be one of the hardest things a person can do when they are overweight. The mirror holds nothing back. It shows every curve and blemish. What’s worse is the fact that it is staring back at us and sometimes, that is to much to handle.
Three months into my new journey and I am still struggling. But my struggle is different now. I look at my face in the mirrior and I struggle to see the changes. I struggle to see if this journey is really working for me. (Almost 35 lbs down, I know it is working.) But, when you see your face every single day, you do not always see the changes right away. When I see my face in the mirror, I still see that woman who was scared to death. I still see the woman who does not want to face life and face reality.
I apologize for not posting in awhile. The last month has been a whirlwind. It was met with highs and lows but as I sit here thinking about the last month, I can only smile with happiness. For the first time in years, I feel like myself. I feel like I am finally becoming me again. And you know what, I am excited.
In December 2015 after my first two surgeries and after losing 140 lbs, my husband and I were ready to embark on a whirlwind journey to try to have a baby. After 18 years of being told I was too fat and that is why I was not getting pregnant, I finally had a doctor listen to me.
In the past 3 1/2 weeks, my world has changed. It has changed for the good. As I look back I wonder what has changed so drastically that I actually see good in things I used to see bad in. But, I realize, my outlook has changed because I am putting myself first.
Since joining WW, I have lost 11.6 lbs, I am feeling healthier and I am feeling more like myself. But, more than that, I am realizing that I am worth taking the time to be me. I have broken out of the feeling that I need to be something for someone else. I don’t have to be anything to anyone but me. Continue reading “Happiness is more than a number”→