Lessons learned…

Wow, I hope you all have had an amazing Christmas. It was a wonderful Christmas for our family. It was a little too food enjoyable. 🙂 I decided that after 21 months on WW, I needed to take a mental break. I needed to take some time for me. So, with the approval of my doctor and my counselor I began to set up my plan to take my two week hiatus from WW.

Taking my life back one day at a time.

So, how did I set up my hiatus. I set it up by creating accountability partners for myself. I reached out to my WW coach and my accountability partner. I also added several friends to this accountability group. Why did I set up so many accountability partners? Because there is always a chance that their will be one accountability partner not willing to be as strong and encouraging of me to get back on track. I wanted to ensure that I had someone that would be that push. That person that would say Tracy, you need to do this. You promised. Luckily, ALL of my accountability partners were very encouraging to get back on track.

I also set up a deadline. I set up a back on track date. Taking a break from WW and not setting up a get back on date allows you to keep pushing that date back. I needed an accountability to myself. What day did I decide to get back on? Saturday, January 2. And guess what, I was on track that day without a doubt. So, what happened on my two week break?

Continue reading → Lessons learned…

Weighing in after a disastrous week

So, after the emotional week that I had this week I really did not want to get on the scale. I thought about not doing it. But, I have religiously weighed every Saturday since March 23, 2019. I decided that no matter what I was getting on that scale. Up or down, I needed to know where my balance was. Did I maintain the tools not to put five pounds on this week?

Stepping on the scale is a victory!
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com
Continue reading → Weighing in after a disastrous week

Weigh In Results for Birthday Week

I don’t always publish my weigh in results on here. But, I felt it was important to do so today.

Losing weight does not mean you have to miss out of things like this!

After my birthday week, I got on the scale today and I was surprisingly down .2 pounds. I am ecstatic about those results. Normally I would be upset I only lost .2. But today was different. I am happy for these results because I had a wonderful birthday. I had the best birthday ever and enjoyed my cupcake.

Losing weight does not have to be about restrictions. While you are losing gift you do not have to forgo indulgences. I love my WW because of that. I get to enjoy my life and enjoy my days.

I for too long have tried to “diet.” Diets do not work. Diets only strict you and the reason people fall off of them is because you can’t live that way your entire life. You have to learn how to enjoy food and live with food for the rest of your life.

Just some food for thought. Hope you all have a blessed week. Looking forward to sharing some amazing news with you soon.

Well, I am 19 (again)

When I was growing up, my birthday’s were some of my happiest memories. I remember my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese the most, I think. I loved watching the little mice on stage. Every birthday growing up, my parents made it special for me in some way. Oftentimes, we would go out to eat or go do something fun on my birthday if it was on the weekend.

Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

Now that I have grown up my birthday still means a lot to me because of those memories. But, one thing has changed. Somehow I have stopped aging. By the power of my wonderful Aunt Sam. Every year since I turned 19, I get a “Happy 19th Birthday part ?” I told her when I was in college that I wasn’t going to get any older. And thanks to her I haven’t.

Something as simple as remembering one comment I made on one birthday brings me joy every time I get a card from her. It reminds me how much she loves me to just remember that one thing.

This year’s birthday was a little different, but the love I felt from family and friends was one of the best things I could have asked for amidst COVID-19. It has been a blessing to feel this loved. On my birthday this year, I got a phone call I did not expect. And throughout the afternoon I just felt joy from that phone call. I felt encouraged.

Continue reading → Well, I am 19 (again)

Whelp, as predicted…

I got on the scale today and realized that my predictions had come to fruition. I gained 2 lbs because of my emotional eating. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I did it. I own it.

This week I am going to try to find other ways to express my emotions rather than eating food. Maybe you will see me writing more on my blog as a side effect of my avoidance of food.

But, honesty had to win out and I had to post my scale failure.

Emotional eating in overdrive this week

I failed. I fail every time.

I fail because even after a year and a half of learning skills to deal with my emotions, what do I do? I run to food. I run to things that make me feel good. And darn it, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies do the trick for me. Either that or those milk chocolate covered pretzels. (Oooh, I forgot about that Whatchamacalit in my fridge.)

Why do I sabotage myself? I don’t understand why it is so hard for me to deal with heartbreak and bad news. I still don’t understand why my only coping skill that I know how to use is food.

Continue reading → Emotional eating in overdrive this week

Changes to my blog

Good evening.

It has been awhile since I have updated my blog. I have been working through a lot of things. Emotionally, physically, and just in general.

This summer has not been the summer I dreamed of. Last year after my knee surgery I dreamed that this year I would have the ability to go out and hike, climb mountains, take a trip to the beach. I never imagined I would be stuck in my house. But, alas, that is where I am stuck.

During this journey I have learned that becoming healthy is more than controlling points or tracking my exercise. It is about eating healthier and making choices for my whole house. It is about making sure my dogs are healthy. It is about making sure food for my husband is healthy. It is about setting myself up to be the best me I can be.

So, I am changing my blog to accommodate the changes in my life. New topics will be about how I am turning my home into a healthy hibernation for me. How I am improving my dogs health and making them thrive with natural products. How God has changed my outlook on life and made my life happier. It’s all about the life changes.

I hope you are excited about joining me on this journey. It is going to be a joyride.

Coming to Reality

Food will always be a temptation.

You know losing weight is one of the hardest things a person can do. The easiest is putting it on. Why is that?

I think a lot about what got me to this place where I had to lose 200 lbs just to get into my healthy weight range. How did I get there? What things transpired in my life to get me to the point of being so overweight? Was it something I did? Was it something I experienced? Was it just that I loved food?

The more that I am on this journey, the more I realize that for me, food wasn’t just for nourishment. Food was my escape from reality. If I wanted to feel good, I made a cake with lots of frosting on it. If I tried to escape the pain that I felt, I would sit down and eat an entire bag of popcorn with mounds of butter.

For someone battling this journey, I needed to find out how to cope with my myriad of emotions. I need to figure out how to deal with things that bother me.

One thing I have found is journaling. It is one of the reasons I created this blog. I need to write my feelings out. I don’t do it on here as much as I would like to, but just sitting down and writing out my feelings gives me a way to express my emotions.

The second thing I have found is a friend to talk with throughout the week. Having a friend to talk to and work out my emotions within a biblical manner is a tremendous help. She has been there on my dark days when I want to crawl under my desk and has been there when I got something exciting too.

Finally, I look for ways to occupy my time. Whether it is picking up a book or playing a game on my tablet, I find ways to distract myself. Without distracting myself, I head straight for the food. It’s a fallacy I need to stop and think about what I am doing. I need to stop thinking about food being my
answer to everything.

When I lost our baby, I turned to food. When we had a lot of stuff going on in our life, I turned to food. I turned to food because it was the only thing that made me feel good. But, when that feeling wore off, I needed to get more food to continue that feeling of fullness and completeness.

My husband is a truck driver. I love him, dearly. He’s had some jobs where he has been gone four weeks at a time. I filled my loneliness with food. I talked on the phone with him while eating. I spoke on the phone with anyone and ate. I needed that food to feel less alone. Anytime I went out with friends instead of going to a museum or something, we went out to eat. What did I get? I usually always got something with fries and a burger. I guarantee you that I put on 50 lbs just eating out with friends and trying to get out instead of sitting in the house alone.

Let me be clear. My husband’s job had nothing to do with my need to lose 200 lbs. My husband’s job had nothing to do with that. It was my lack of understanding of how to deal with the loneliness. Instead of getting involved in things, I would sit around on my rear and watch every tv show I could. I have some that I can quote to you more about than the actual Bible.

That fact is the food was my substitute. Food was my escape. I must find new escapes now. I must find new ways of filling those emotional downs. Food can no longer be my way to feel better. I guarantee you; food will never make me feel as good as puppy kisses and the feeling of success.

Stress Eating Through the Last 50 Days

In the last 50 days, I have sat down to write this blog a million different ways. I had to take a while to write it because the emotions were too raw. The anger was too real. The pain was too real. In the last 50 days, I have had to take time to process my emotions in a way that I never thought I would have to. And in a way, the time has been good to me. In others, it has been heartbreaking.

Overcome your struggles. Overcome your fears.

On May 25, 2020, I was sitting down writing a blog about race, entitlement, and intolerance. I was writing the blog because of Amy Cooper’s actions in a New York City park. As a white woman who was raised to believe that God created everyone, I was angry that she felt entitled to call the police because the man asked her to put her dog on a leash. I was angry she thought she had the right to treat a black man that way. As I was writing that blog news came across about the brutal murder of George Floyd. I could not believe what I was seeing. Anger swelled within me like it never has before—outrage at the brutal murder of this man who was clearly in custody. I know Floyd’s death occurred on May 24, 2020, but for me, May 25 will go down in history personally. It is the day of my great awakening.

Continue reading → Stress Eating Through the Last 50 Days

Vegan and loving it

If you told me a few years ago that I would even consider adopting the vegan lifestyle, I would have told you that you were nuttier than a fruitcake. Let alone, love it…

One of the things I always thought was that as a vegan you had to give up so much. You couldn’t have cheese. You couldn’t have eggs. How can you have cookies if you can’t have eggs? Let alone birthday cake. But just because you choose a different way of eating, does not mean you have to forgo anything.

Best cake you will ever eat.

Last week my husband had a milestone birthday. I wanted to celebrate it with him. I wanted to give him anything he wanted and if that meant baking a cake with eggs, I would do it. Surprisingly, he wanted a vegan cake so I could enjoy it as well. I researched and researched and I found two of the most amazing recipes. I made him a vanilla cake with lemon buttercream icing. And he loved it. He doesn’t want another cake.

My breakfast is filled with veggie sausage every morning from Morning Star. Each morning I have been having veggie sausage, toast with jam, and a fruit of my choosing. And, I have been loving it. I won’t eat anything else. I sit here and wonder where it has been all my life. 🙂

Continue reading → Vegan and loving it