Wow, I hope you all have had an amazing Christmas. It was a wonderful Christmas for our family. It was a little too food enjoyable. 🙂 I decided that after 21 months on WW, I needed to take a mental break. I needed to take some time for me. So, with the approval of my doctor and my counselor I began to set up my plan to take my two week hiatus from WW.
So, how did I set up my hiatus. I set it up by creating accountability partners for myself. I reached out to my WW coach and my accountability partner. I also added several friends to this accountability group. Why did I set up so many accountability partners? Because there is always a chance that their will be one accountability partner not willing to be as strong and encouraging of me to get back on track. I wanted to ensure that I had someone that would be that push. That person that would say Tracy, you need to do this. You promised. Luckily, ALL of my accountability partners were very encouraging to get back on track.
I also set up a deadline. I set up a back on track date. Taking a break from WW and not setting up a get back on date allows you to keep pushing that date back. I needed an accountability to myself. What day did I decide to get back on? Saturday, January 2. And guess what, I was on track that day without a doubt. So, what happened on my two week break?
On my first week of my break went really well. I tracked everything that went into my mouth. I tracked fudge, I tracked carrots, I tracked the ham I ate on Christmas day. For the most part, there was nothing out of the ordinary. I gained a couple of pounds but I did not gain anything out of the ordinary or unexpected.
The second week I decided that I needed to see what it was like to be my old self. It was a smart and stupid decision. I will tell you right now in one week I gained 6.8 lbs. Wow! Yes, you read that right. 6.8 lbs. One of the things I did was to stop tracking my food. I did it so that I could see what it was like to live my old life. To be carefree about what I ate and if I wanted fudge, I would eat fudge. If I wanted to eat cookies or lasagna, why not?
I will tell you why. I have no self-control when it comes to food. I would get one piece of fudge and five minutes later I would say, “Fudge, boy that was good. Did, I have one piece, I should have another.” Then about 15 minutes later the cookie desire showed right on up. I forgot what I ate and so at the end of the day I had no idea what I ate. On Friday of that week I had a large Peppermint Milkshake from Chick-fil-A. Then my husband was sweet and treated me to a medium Dairy Queen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. Yep, ate it and I enjoyed it very much….until….
I could not deal with the stomach aches. The feeling that I cannot move. As I got home and walked into the house all I could do was change clothes and get into bed. I felt miserable. I hated the feeling. But, I was so thankful for that feeling. You would not believe how thankful I was for that feeling. I remembered what made me start this journey. I felt the pain, despair, and the unsettling feeling. I went to sleep that night and did not get a good night sleep.
At 3 a.m. on January 2 I woke up so excited about restarting my weight loss journey. I was so excited to get going on my journey again. By 6 a.m. I was back in my kitchen baking again. I was because I found out during my two weeks off that my favorite passion is baking and cooking. What I also found out is that just because I am on my weight loss journey it does not mean I have to give up my passions. On Saturday, January 2, I baked the best Blueberry Oatmeal Bake. It was so scrumptious.
But, I also learned several things about myself. First, I need to be on an accountability program the rest of my life. Whether it is WW or some other program, I need to track my food daily. Without that tracking ability I will easily put my weight back on. Second, I don’t have to give up my passions just because I am trying to get healthy. I can do them. I can succeed at them. And love every minute of it.
The other thing I learned is probably the most important. And what is sad is I already knew it, I just forgot it. I remembered my why. My why is the reason I joined WW and why I wanted to do my weight loss journey.
My why is simple. My why is probably the simplest why ever. I want to feel healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to feel that walking is easy. I want to be able to feel the blood rushing through my veins. I want to be able to feel my cells not being attacked by fat. I want to be able to live with my husband for a number of years. I want to be able to go hiking. I want to be able to walk across the world if I want to. But, at 333.4 lbs, I was not able to do anything. I was trapped in my body. I was trapped in a world that I never want to be in again. I was in a prison of my own making. I was a prisoner to food.
I am no longer a prisoner. I am free. And I intend to remain free.