I am finding the time during my recovery to sit down and think about my life goals. I am thinking about what I want to be when this journey to health is over. I am thinking about how I want to proceed with my life after all of this. One thing is for certain. The more I think about my hopes and dreams, the more certain I am not the person I want to be. But, I have two choices. I can sit here and wallow in self-pity or I can do something.
Right now, my weight impacts my life tremendously. It affects my ability to do things. It affects my self-image. It affects the way I view my life. Right now, I feel like I am trapped in my body. I feel like I a bright shining star that is trapped in a box fighting to get out. What’s worse is I want out more than anything. I want to be that free bird.
So, I have two choices. I can wallow in self-pity or can fight to get out of that box. I can fight kicking and screaming. And even though my body is healing from surgery and having other issues, the way I can fight is getting these things taken care of so that when the doctor gives me the go ahead, I can take the world by storm.
I feel sorry for my poor husband. I feel sorry because he is going to have to go on this journey with me. He is going to have to travel this fight and then he is going to have to go on all my adventures.
Here is my wish list to do when I get to my healthy life:
- Live in a tiny house or RV so I can pick up and see the world that I have missed living in this current body.
- I want to hike in all of the beautiful national parks we have. I would love to hike the Appalachian Trail.
- I want to ride roller coasters that I could not fit into.
- I want to be able to sit with my legs crossed on the floor with the kids at church.
- I want to walk into any store knowing I can wear their clothes.
- I want to fly to Europe and see all of the great monuments and museums that I have read about.
- I want to cruise down the Nile River.
- I want to walk to the top of a pyramid in Egypt.
- I want to sit on the beach and enjoy the sunshine and not be terrified people are making fun of me.
- I want to run a marathon.
Quite frankly, I just want to enjoy life. I want to spend the rest of my life living the life I always dreamed. I want to enjoy the life that God has given me. And I will! So I am going to take that road I never traveled and live life. Will you?
PS: I have officially reached 40.4 lbs gone as of Saturday. It means I have lost weight while in recovery. This was a big thing for me. I am so very proud of this accomplishment.